The 'Amstr Wheel

Resolution of the Month: Posture

2011-03-07T15:41:00.000-08:00

Report on FARM (February Album Recording Month): we've got four songs in progress, and we're still recording! We're hoping to have most of the songs completed by June. I'm hoping to make time to write more songs--maybe I'll have another music month in the summer or fall. In the meantime, I've been practicing piano and learning to play the pennywhistle (my chops are gone from all that flute playing in 4-6 grade).

And March is posture month.

I've been hoping to take a posture class for a few years now. I read this book (8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back by Esther Gokhale) after watching the Authors@Google talk below (it's 50 minutes, but worth the time if you're wanting to get some great posture tips). I don't have any serious back issues (yet), and I'd like to avoid them as I age. And I'd love to have my kids retain some of their good posture into adulthood. So I finally signed up for a 6-week class at the Esther Gokhale Wellness Center in Palo Alto, and I get to start mid-March. In the meantime, I should probably sit up a little straighter.

Here's Esther at Google, if you want a sense of what she does:

Resolution of the Month: Music

2011-02-03T17:52:00.000-08:00

Since last month's resolution was a big fat fail*, we're moving on.

February is music month around our house. We** joined in on FAWM (February Album Writing Month) in its second year of existence, and though we've only completed the challenge once (14 songs in 28 days--we were proud to finish in a leap year with our 14 1/2 songs in 29 days), we attempt to make more music than usual in February.***

So. This year we're doing a modified version of FAWM called FARM (February Album Recording Month), which should really be modified again to This February We're Really Going to Start Recording that Album or EP or Whatever It Ends Up Being That We've Been Talking About For the Last Umpteen Years. But that acronym would be ridiculous.

We've scheduled recording sessions with some musical friends once a week this month. There's no way we'll finish an album or an EP or whatever, but we might get something started, and we might get some musical momentum, and we might keep making music together, and we might keep recording songs, and in doing so we might have fun, and learn some stuff, and get better at what we already do.**** And someone might want to listen to it. At least my mom will.

*and by "big fat fail" I mean that I've gone to bed consistently at 11:30pm every night for the month. Except once, and I was sick that night.

**The "we" here is in no way royal. It's my husband and me, and we've been making music together since the day we first spoke to each other. I also have to credit him with writing that last half a song on that last day in our finish year.

***let me point you in the direction of a friend I've never met in person--we inhabited the same space at different times--who manages to finish the challenge EVERY YEAR! Music is her job, but I'm still impressed.

****and here's where I credit the erudite and inspirational Ginger over at Weiner Dog Tricks for this post that has pushed me to do in music what she does in sewing (and has done in music too. It's good. You should give it a listen).

Resolution of the Month: Sleep

2011-01-05T21:29:00.000-08:00

I'm generally one for February Resolutions rather than New Year's Resolutions. I'm always too worn out from the holidays to think about improving myself much come January. But this year, I've come down with a mild case of Ben Franklin. Instead of daily lists of improvements to check off hourly (or anything remotely moral or virtuous), I'm aiming for one priority resolution a month. (I suppose I'm also unconsciously channeling FlyLady and her monthly housecleaning habits.)

This month: sleep.

In December, between a book chapter deadline, regular family life, and the holidays, there wasn't much sleep happening here. And after 5 years of interrupted sleep (read: kids waking me up all the time), I have no illusion that I will actually catch up on sleep. I long for the "awakeness" that sleep study participants have when they get into the rhythm of sleeping two stretches with a quiet wakeful period between. (See this TEDTalk for more on sleep studies.) But for now I'm attempting the good old 8 hours a night. 10pm bedtime, 10:30pm sleeptime (one has to read before sleeping), 6:30am wake time.

And since I've been at this four days already, here's my progress report: not so great.

I have plenty of excuses: it's hard to get to sleep at an earlier time (I've been getting to sleep around midnight lately); I got caught up in my book; my son has a fever and needs attention at 11pm; I need to stay up and celebrate my husband's last day of Christmas vacation by watching a movie. Some reasonable, some not. But the month has just begun.

Here's to 27 nights of good sleep. Speaking of which, it's 9:53.

Summer Reading Update

2010-07-20T15:03:00.001-07:00

I've updated my reading list a bit:

Already read:
1. Nocturnes: Five Stories of Music and Nightfall by Kazuo Ishiguro
2. How to Knit a Love Song by Rachael Herron
3. Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson

4. The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield

In the middle of:
5. Willful Creatures (short stories) by Aimee Bender
6. To Kill a Mockingbird (which I haven't read since freshman year of high school. After half a chapter, I'm convinced it's a book wasted on 14 year olds.)

To read:

7. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

8. Wuthering Heights (in reading solidarity with GEW; another book I haven't read since my youth)

Right this moment I've got Turabian's A Manual for Writers of Research Papers, Theses, and Dissertations in my non-typing hand. No so much reading for pleasure, but intro writers Wayne Booth and friends are reminding me what writing an argument is all about. And later I can take a break from my reading to, er, read.

Summer Reading

2010-07-10T22:05:00.001-07:00

I'm too scared of failing to formally join in our local library's summer reading challenge. With all the academic books I have to read, reading eight books for pleasure seems like a lot in two months. Still, I'm secretly attempting the challenge, and here's where I am so far:

Already read:

1. Nocturnes: Five Stories of Music and Nightfall by Kazuo Ishiguro

2. How to Knit a Love Song by Rachael Herron

3. Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson

In the middle of:

4. Willful Creatures (short stories) by Aimee Bender

5. Traveling with Pomegranates: A Mother-Daughter Story by Sue Monk Kidd and Ann Kidd Taylor (I am seriously considering sending this one back to the library unfinished.)

Any suggestions for books 6-8? I'm trying to stick to fiction, but I'm open to other genres.

Bread Revision

2010-06-29T11:13:00.001-07:00

I've been tinkering with this bread recipe for a while now. Here's my latest version. It's easy, relatively quick, and totally tasty.

Quick(ish) and Easy Whole Wheat Bread

First:

2 c. warm water (around 100 degrees, so the water feels temperature-less on your wrist)

2 pkgs. yeast (I prefer Rapid Rise or Perfect Rise for this recipe)

6 T honey (I do 1/4 c. plus half again; you could also use sugar)

Stir together and set aside for about 5 min.

8 c. whole wheat flour (I've been using Trader Joe's White Whole Wheat)

4 t. salt

Mix in a bowl.

Then:

Mix yeast water into flour. Add another 1-2 c. of warm water and stir together. Dough should hold together well, but not be sticky.

Knead a little bit on a board or just in the bowl.

Set the dough to rise in a warm place covered with a dishtowel to keep off drafts.

Let rise for about an hour.

Cut dough in half.

Knead each one a few times.

On the last knead, roll into a loaf and pinch together at seam.

Spray canola oil (or other oil) into 2 loaf pans.

Press loaf seam-side up into loaf pan until the pan is filled to the corners.

Flip loaf out and over.

Press gently into pan with seam-side down.

Repeat for second loaf.

Set loaves to rise for 30-60 min (top of loaf should be even with lip of pan)

Bake at 350 for 40ish minutes, until loaf gives a hollow sound when you thump it. I find this bread is best if it's slightly undercooked.

Cool. Make sure to eat a heel when it's still warm from the oven!

Stores well at room temperature for 4-5 days.

Book of the Month: February. Farmer Boy

2010-03-14T15:30:00.000-07:00

We're reading the Little House books to our 4-year-old son, and this one has been my favorite so far. We did have to do a bit of explaining when the school teacher whipped the older boys with the bull whip, and about why kids might deceive their parents by covering up a black mark on the wall with a wallpaper scrap. We had to explain, too, why it was so important for the family to work together--the daily chores, the big projects such as planting or harvesting, getting up without complaint in the wee hours of the morning to save the tiny corn stalks from a late freeze. In this story of Almanzo's growing independence, I was reminded that chores and adult work can be something kids look forward to, a privilege instead of drudgery. I've seen a glimpse of this in our house lately as our kids eagerly pull up chairs to the counter to make our homemade bread. (And we've even started calling store-bought bread "boughten bread.")

Overall, we loved the glimpse into the incredibly busy and work-filled life of the Wilder family. That Ma Wilder puts me to shame.

Bread Making

2010-02-24T14:59:00.000-08:00

When I was young, my mom taught me to make whole wheat bread. I loved the big sea-foam green ceramic bowl we'd mix it in. I'd wait in the kitchen to have the heel of the loaf warm, straight from the oven.

In my adult life, I've gone through phases of breaking out the Tassajara cookbook recipe and making four hearty loaves at a time. Making the sponge, letting it rise, mixing in oil, salt, and more flour, letting it rise, punching it down, letting it rise, shaping it into loaves, letting it rise, baking it: the project fills a good portion of the day.

Lately, I've been taking the quicker route to homemade bread. A friend passed along this recipe:

Easy French Bread from Ann Grether

Mix 1c. warm water and 1 pkg. yeast. Let stand 5 min.

Mix 4c. flour, 3T. sugar/sweetner, 2t. salt in a bowl. Pour yeast water in. Mix.

Add enough extra water (usually about 1/2 c.) to have the dough hold together. Blend with a spoon until stuck together in one lump.

Let rise until double (30-45 min.)

Punch down.

Divide dough in half, shape into loaves, and place in greased pan or small round casserole.

Let rise.

Bake for 30 min. at 375 degrees.

You can also use the dough for bread braids, dinner rolls, pita pockets, and (with minor adjustments) apple fritters or cinnamon rolls.

I've been using honey as a sweetner and adding it to the yeast water, and I've substituted white whole wheat flour.

Verdict: Amazing.

Book of the Month: January. Born to Run

2010-02-11T19:52:00.000-08:00

As a part of my 2010 book list, I thought I'd choose the best book I've read in a month and share it with you here. For January: Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Super Athletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen by Christopher McDougall.

First of all, I am not, and have never been, an athlete. But this book made me want to run. Here's the author talking about the book and running (and showing you his cool homemade running sandals).

What the video doesn't communicate is that this book is a Story--an extraordinarily well-written (and well-edited) narrative, with fascinating digressions woven in. He explores the background of the runners in the story, describes what evolutionary biologists can tell us about running and the human body, tells the story of a man who found the last persistence hunters and learned to hunt with them (by running after game until they got worn out or died), explains why Nike is marketing a shoe that attempts to do nothing, and finds to source of the hype for FiveFingers foot-gloves. And with excellent pacing, the main narrative follows his journey to find the Tarahumara tribe in Mexico and the first race between Tarahumara runners and US ultrarunners held in Mexico.

I stayed up way too late way too many nights reading this book. Two thumbs way, way up.

February Resolutions: installment #2

2010-02-07T21:21:00.000-08:00

Last year I began February resolutions, mostly because it takes me all of January to figure out what I really want to accomplish in the year ahead. Here's this year's list:

-Fitness/Weight: I've managed to maintain my weight over the last 8 months, and I'd like to keep it that way. I've gotten in some bad eating habits and out of some good exercise habits. I'd like to right that.

-Music: My husband and I have been promising ourselves for too many years that we're going to record an album. We've got the gear, we've got a good list of songs, we've got skills enough. We just need to get over our fears, make some time, and record, record, record. Even if it turns out crappy. I also want to practice the banjo at least a few times a week.

-Degree work: I have a conference paper to present in April, an article-length version of that paper due in December, and I'd like to have three chapters of my dissertation drafted by the holidays. But I'd be happy with two chapter drafts.

-House: I've been on a decluttering mission lately. We celebrated the new year by emptying the last of our moving boxes. I've reorganized closets and cupboards. We're finally buying a portable dishwasher, and we just ordered a new bookshelf for our room. I'm going to follow a friend's plan, and aim to have 10% of our stuff gone by the end of the year. (That includes cleaning out the garage.)

-Reading: I want to keep a list of books I've read this year. I've never kept a list before, though I read constantly. I'm curious to see how many books I read.

-Venturing out: I'm quite cozy here at home, and it takes effort to plan things and get the family out the door, so I often opt for staying in rather than going out. This year, I want to do more--family adventures, nights out with friends, playdates, hikes.

The resolution I need to repeat from last year is attempting to keep from being overcommitted. This may mean quitting some stuff. And I hate to back out of things. I'm pretty big on follow through. But years ago a friend taught me to offer grace to her when she just couldn't follow through, and I hope I can learn better how to offer that grace to myself.

Happy February! And may the progress of betterment begin.

Poor Little Neglected Blog

2010-01-25T21:41:00.000-08:00

I noticed today on GoodEnoughWoman's blogroll that it's been seven months since I posted on this here neglected blog. That's a sad, sad state of affairs, though in my defense, I haven't been sitting around downing bon-bons and watching Glee on too many nights.

I'm working on some February Resolutions again this year, so I'll post those soon.

In the meantime, here's my list of bad conversation-starters (and things I'm thinking about nearly constantly):
-How exactly should one go about choosing a kindergarten for one's child?
-What is the balance between responsibility to one's family unit and responsibility to the larger community?
-How does one treat a rash on the bum of a 4.5 year old?
-How can anyone possibly learn to read English? Especially a child? And who regularized spelling in such strange ways anyway?
-How old is too old to start something new?
-Why am I getting a PhD, and how will it benefit me?
-Could you explain to me how to explain the trash compactor scene in Monsters Inc. to my 4.5 year old so he'll understand it? (Sully sees Boo get IN the trash can, but doesn't see her get OUT, so he fears for her life as the giant machine crunches up all the trash. My explanations of situational irony don't seem to have helped.)
-How can I possibly get the black burned-on gunk off of the burners on my gas stove? And how does one clean a non-self-cleaning over without using toxic chemicals? And isn't baking soda the most amazing cleaning product ever?
-Why don't children ever sleep when you want them to?

My first pre-February resolution: post more.

Bi-Annual Report on February Resolutions

2009-06-22T21:16:00.000-07:00

I was reminded today that many institutions are coming to the close of the fiscal year, and it seemed like a good time to make an accounting of progress on my 2009 resolutions. Here's the round-up:

Composting--I have the composter, and it has stuff in it. But it's not quite compost. I haven't turned the pile for a couple months. It got a bit out of whack with too many "greens" (mostly kitchen waste, in this case) and not enough "browns" (shredded paper, cardboard, dried grass, etc.). I do need to get back in the groove with it.

Beside the composter, though, we do have 18 square feet of garden with some lovely plants growing. We've already been harvesting herbs and lettuce, and we're eagerly awaiting the carrots, bell peppers, squash, and eggplant. Our trusty neighbor is going to keep it all alive while we're on vacation.

Exercise--I've gotten into a good exercise routine. Three days a week of Fluidity during the kids' naptime, and two to three days a week of walking with the kids. I've even managed to get right back to exercising after trips, and we've been incorporating hiking and walking into family days and dates. The kids and I have also been taking a once-a-week parent-kid dance class, which gives us all a chance to get in some much needed wiggling.

Eating Healthfully--I'm eating healthfully enough to be 15 lbs. lighter than I was in February. (I'm down to the weight I was at the end of my freshman year of college--for the first time since then.) Eating well on upcoming summer vacations will be a challenge, but I feel like I have the tools to choose better eating.

Dissertation work--I did turn in a prospectus draft this month and got a good response from my advisor. I'm finalizing the draft this summer, and I'm starting on a conference paper/chapter. (Side note: I got a paper accepted to a panel, and the panel was accepted to the Renaissance Society of America conference in Venice, Italy, in April 2010. Now I need to add "learn Italian" to my list.) I also managed to find a preschool and get the kids enrolled for fall. With some husband help delivering the kids to preschool, I'll have an additional 8+ hours a week of daytime work starting September 1.

Laughing--We could still laugh more. Must work on this one. :)

Limiting commitments--I'm still not great at limiting commitments. I am starting to feel guilty about saying Yes to things. I haven't added much to my schedule, and I've been more aware of how busy a week our family can handle. And I think it's finally sunk in that I should never, ever schedule anything for Monday mornings.

Other stuff--I haven't pulled out the knitting needles, but I've had the opportunity to do some musical things--writing some songs with my husband, playing with friends, leading the band at church, recording some songs. For my birthday, my husband gave me "recording a kids' album," so we're gathering equipment and getting ready to take some evenings off and lay down some tracks. Our son is also learning to read, and we're taking our time with it. All in all, the 2009 resolutions seem reasonable, helpful, and accomplishable. We still don't have our pictures hung in our new place, and I've still got three boxes left to unpack, but all in good time.

The Pull of Summer

2009-05-22T15:14:00.000-07:00

I’m feeling springy! Summer’s just around the corner. I can see my discipline standing up to walk out the door. Other people are grading their last finals. Other people are eagerly awaiting their kids’ last day of school. I am trying to make myself believe that it’s important to read more Shakespeare in what I’m dangerously beginning to think of as my “free time” or “spare time.” I’m even tempted to lift my weeknight TV/movie ban to watch the new season of “So You Think You Can Dance,” but I’m not sure if our converter box will pick up Fox, and I think maybe I’m better off not knowing.

On good days, studying is a lifeline to a world outside of hurrying my son to the potty, changing diapers, preparing five meals/snacks a day, folding laundry, doing dishes, and wondering why the vacuum is still sitting out and the paper scraps and styrofoam crumbs are still on the living room floor. I’ll admit, that outside world is populated with long dead people and people who never existed in the first place, but it’s a world of larger ideas that I’ve traveled in before. It reminds me that this daily world I’m living with isn’t without the big ideas, it’s just harder for me to see them through the cobwebs on the windows.

On bad days, studying keeps me from feeling a connection to the larger culture--I don’t know what happened on Lost, I haven’t watched American Idol in years, I’ve missed the last few hundred great new books, and I get my news from listening to “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me” while I do dishes. My cocktail conversation, if I ever went to cocktail parties, would be limited to balance bikes and images of motherhood in 430 year old books.

But then my daughter walks up, says “I want some mama milk,” and I melt. I pick up my Shakespeare book and settle in to nurse.

5 Things

2009-05-06T13:08:00.000-07:00

Facebook is going a little crazy with the "5 things" posts. And the things I really want to post about aren't in the celebrity listing, so I thought I'd post some here.

5 Favorite Kids Musicians/Albums

-The Nields, we're especially fond of their HooteNanny music class curriculum

-Elizabeth Mitchell, "You are My Little Bird," and "Catch the Moon" with Lisa Loeb

-Orange Sherbet and Hot Buttered Rum, "Campfire Songs"

-Ginger Hendrix, "Macaroni Boy Eats at Chez Shooby Do"

-my husband

5 best smart English words

-liminal

-valences

-mores

-NB (for nota bene)

-bifurcated (as in "bifurcated plot")

5 words I find in my literary reading that are out of current usage (more or less)

-bokin' (as in "bokin' rainbows," what one might do after a heavy night of imbibing; it's actually a auld Scots term)

-inveigle (a 17th century favorite)

-troth (has elements of "truth" and "trust")

-rankle (from the a word meaning "to fester")

-soote (see Surrey's sonnet "The Soote Season")

5 musical things I wish I had done (and might still do, given the opportunity)

-joined the band JimmyFish in college when asked

-learned to play an instrument well enough to perform with it

-finished my BA in music, but in choral conduction instead of vocal performance

-paid more attention in ear training and music theory classes (and actually retained more information than just how to identify the "Foxy Lady" chord when I hear it)

-made an album

5 flowers I love to see growing

-tulips

-California poppies

-night-smelling jasmine

-hydrangeas

-camellias

5 most wise mentors

-Mary Ann, who taught me that nothing can be done perfectly, but that it's important to still strive toward it.

-Isabel, who gave up her kid-free Saturday mornings to hang out with a goofy high schooler, and told me that you shouldn't expect your spouse to change, but you shouldn't expect him not to change either.

-Mary, who included me in her busy household, and taught me that intense study and community are amazing things indeed.

-Bill and Joyce, who counseled us that in marriage, many, many things can be repaired on long walks.

-my parents, who pray for me and who have always known when to let me figure things out for myself.

5 things I appreciate about my mom now that I'm a mom (NB: This list is not exhaustive)

-giving up years of good sleep to care for me and my brothers

-teaching us to make all the good things she cooked: whole wheat bread, granola, fruit leather, balanced meals

-needing to take time off on our vacations to just lay by the river and read

-teaching through example how important it is to help others in whatever ways we can

-never making me feel shame

San Luis Obispo Visitor's Guide: Installment #1

2009-03-08T22:52:00.000-07:00

Some friends of ours recently took a trip to San Luis Obispo, where my husband grew up and where I lived for 8 years. We didn't prep them very well, evidently: they didn't know that San Luis is not actually a beach town, took a long and mistaken walk up the Monterey St. hill, ate dinner at Apple Farm AND ordered the meatloaf. So I've promised to let her know our top stops in SLO.*

Restaurants of choice:

Firestone: you can't lose with the ABC burger, the tri-tip sandwich, or the small steak cobb salad with vinaigrette dressing. Mmmm, and the fries.

Big Sky: My fave for breakfast. Everything's great, but particularly the journeycakes with swiss cheese and the beignets. For lunch, I love the japanese eggplant sandwich. Do check out their specials board for all meals.

Buona Tavola: We used to go for a light lunch of soup and salad. I love the lattughette, but my husband prefers the caesar. Their tapenade and bread are fantastic. If they have the rack of lamb special, get it. The gnocchi is also amazing, and we've become fond of the pasta dish with tons of different meats on it (fettucini al sugo di carni miste: slow braised chicken, duck, veal, and beef in an herbed meat sauce). My favorite dessert is the crema with caramel topping.

Farmer's Market: If you're in SLO on a Thursday evening, don't miss the Farmer's Market. Grab a meal at one of the many food stands, people watch, and listen to the great musicians that play on the side streets.

Linnaea's: Great coffee, great atmosphere. It's particularly good if you have a few minutes by yourself to relax. Their lunch options are super yummy. Try an iced coffee (complete with coffee ice cubes) or a white hot chocolate.

Gus's Grocery: THE place for sandwiches. Fantastic mojo potatoes, and great outdoor seating. It gets a little chaotic inside, so we usually send one or two folks in to place the order. Order a half sandwich. They're almost as big as the regular size, and quite a bit cheaper.

Muzio's: My favorite sandwich in the world: fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, basil on a fresh baguette, drizzled with balsamic vinegar. I haven't had one in ages because we always manage to try to go on Sundays when they're closed. There's not a lot of indoor seating, so order and take the sandwiches down to the mission (a block away) to eat overlooking the creek.

Mo's BBQ: We had our rehearsal dinner at Mo's (in its previous location). Their pulled pork sandwich topped with slaw is fantastic, and they've got some good beer on tap. The cornbread is tasty, too.

Windows on the Water (in Morro Bay): The food is pretty good, but I'd recommend going late in the evening and just getting dessert. Their homemade ice cream and sorbet are delicious (you get three small scoops, each a different flavor), and I once had an amazing blood orange semi-freddo (it tasted almost like a Push-Up pop).

For the beach town feel: hang out in Pismo. Definitely stop in at Splash Cafe for clam chowder and grilled cheese sandwiches. (The food is even better if you're sandy and salty.)

*We moved away from the area in 2003. Though we visit at least a couple times a year, I feel a bit behind on what has changed since we moved, and I'd love updates on what should be added to the list or taken off.

February Resolutions

2009-02-04T15:39:00.000-08:00

It seems that February is becoming the 'new year' marker in our family. My husband started his current job a year ago today, we'll send out our Christmas letter this month, and I'm starting my new year's resolutions. I've had a month to really consider what 2009 can handle. So here goes:

- Composting: we've got a backyard composter started, and I even took a class from the City of Sunnyvale to find out exactly how to do it. The kids love to help put stuff in it and turn the pile. And we sure do end up with a lot of compostable kitchen scraps.

-Exercise: I had a good year last year with exercise, thanks to my sister-in-law's infomercial find. I'm hoping to get back in the habit of regular exercise, including walking with the kids.

-Eating healthfully: I have a huge sweet tooth and have always had a haphazard relationship with food and dieting. My uncle recommended The Beck Diet Solution, and I'm ready for 2009 to be the year I change my eating habits for good.

-Dissertation work: I took almost two months off for holidays and moving, but I'm getting back in the groove. I'm aiming to have a prospectus done in June, and I'm working now on ways to expand my work hours in the coming year (read: finding a preschool).

-Laughing: I told my husband last night that I don't think we laugh enough in our house. Whenever we go to my parents' house, we end up laughing for an hour the first night about all the crazy stuff our kids have done. It gives us some much needed perspective. So I'm hoping this year we can laugh more with our kids and about our kids.

-Limiting commitments: I've been realizing in the last few days that I absolutely cannot over-commit if I want to accomplish the things that are really, really important to me (as opposed to just 'really important'). I think it will take me a few weeks to figure out what commitments should go on each list. At the top of the 'really, really' list: Sleep.

Since I'm so prone to over-commitment, I'm going to stop there. Of course, there are oodles of other things I want to do: play the banjo, play the guitar, write songs, learn to speak French, keep the house uber-tidy, teach my son to read, take the car to the shop when it needs to go, knit a lot, organize photographs, hang the pictures in our new place. But they'll get done when they get done. Maybe that's my last resolution: to really believe that.

Moving Quickly

2008-12-09T23:43:00.000-08:00

I've been amazed in the past week at how quickly a move can be arranged. We got our 30 days notice on our rental December 1. We signed a lease December 6. On December 8, I booked packers/movers, hired cleaners (for the old place), changed utilities and mail service, and scheduled my parents to come help. We'll get our stuff packed on the 15th, camp out in our new place that night, and then move in on the 16th. We should be completely out of our old place by the 20th. (Now if the landlord will let us end our lease on the 21st, we'd be stoked.)

For this move, the logistics seem to be the easy part. Much harder is explaining to a 3 year old and a one year old what will be happening. The big selling point for my son is that this new house has grass in the back AND the front (we currently have a 3'x3' concrete 'porch' in the front), but he's still uncertain about leaving our neighborhood friends. His only other experience with moving was last December when we moved across the country; we haven't seen his Massachusetts friends since.

We're all a bit frazzled with the speed at which we're moving, and we're still recovering from Thanksgiving and it's accompanying illnesses. We're also a bit fearful of all the changes, even though many of them--like the walkability of the neighborhood--will be positive changes. But we're grateful for our new house and how quickly it has become ours. We hope it becomes our home just as quickly.

Lame Mom Move

2008-11-25T13:42:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, after church, my three-year-old son was playing with a little spinner toy and taking turns quite nicely with a little girl (the spinner belonged to a third child). Our church meets at a high school, and the kids were running around outside the auditorium. Everything was going swimmingly, until my son got that mischievous grin and tossed the spinner right into the trash can. I managed to take the filthy can top off with one hand--the other was holding my daughter--and was pleased to find that the spinner had landed in a recently replaced and very clean trash bag, right on top of a clean bulletin. It looked germ free to me! So I took it out and handed it to my son's playmate.

A moment later, I saw the girl's dad returning the toy to its owner with instructions to clean it and taking his daughter to wash her hands.

Now I'm the mom who hands dirty trash toys to kids.

And the moral of the story? I'm debating between "not all trash cans are dirty inside," "you can't judge a trash can by its dirty lid, nor the quality of a mom by her cleanliness," and "all moms need grace."

I think my son misses Massachusetts

2008-11-13T13:27:00.000-08:00

My son was "cooking" this morning with his play (read: cheap) flour and sugar, some finely grated string cheese, and some grated fig newton. After he was done, he dumped a bunch of flour on the counter and pressed it flat.

"Oh, look! Flour mountains!" I said.

"No, it's snow flour," he answered. And then he used a cookie cutter to make some snow angels.

Voting is Crazy-Making for Silicon Valley Mom

2008-11-03T21:51:00.000-08:00

Tonight I finally filled in my Santa Clara County, California, absentee ballot, just in time to go walk it in to a polling station tomorrow. Not only did we get to vote for President/Vice President, US Representative, State Senator, and State Assembly Member, we also got to vote for one judge, one county board of education member, two local school board members, and four city council members (with nine in the race). And we got to vote for twelve state ballot measures, and four county ballot measures. Since my husband and I just returned to the state this year and are new to the county, we didn't simply get to research the current propositions, but we dove into all of the history of the issues we could find as well. It took at least two full evenings. Thank goodness for the internet and for a husband who's a committed voter and excellent and highly educated web researcher.

So what have I learned in this process? Everybody likes parks. Very few people like the VTA (Valley Transportation Authority). Incumbents know a whole lot more about the job than challengers do. Candidates that have good websites feel a lot more vote-worthy. And I really hate talking about politics. Especially with my mom.

Even though we hold the same core values and agree on some key issues, we vote differently on almost everything. In the 2004 election, she called to say, "Don't vote. You'll cancel me out!" Tonight when I called to ask for a recipe, she asked how I was voting on some of the propositions. I told her reluctantly, and then I couldn't remember any of my suave and convincing arguments. Somehow in the face of someone totally convinced of the rightness of her political views, mine seemed to wither. The truth is, I'm not totally certain of my political views or how to fix the problems in the world. And I don't agree with every position of every person I voted for. Our two party system sets up this lovely false dichotomy, which seems amplified by proponents on each side, but political issues seem so much more nuanced and complex to me, and I don't like to be judged by a label that doesn't totally apply.

I'll turn in my ballot tomorrow, having exercised my power to participate in government, having done my civic duty, and having modeled for my kids that voting is something you do. Then on the walk home, they'll squabble over who gets to wear my "I Voted" sticker, and I'll be glad not to have to discuss politics for a while.

Experimenting in the Kitchen

2008-10-30T12:56:00.000-07:00

I've been experimenting in the kitchen lately, which means my son has too. We've been making whole wheat bread, various soups, pumpkin muffins (from a box), and roasted pumpkin seeds. My son usually helps dump together the ingredients and stirs. His own menu usually includes strange concoctions of whatever I'm willing to sacrifice from the cupboards and the fridge: yellow split peas, almost old green beans, grape tomatoes my mom left here, half a jar of ground cloves. He usually cooks in the sink, and the big bowl ends up sitting there until I dump it out.

I've been trying to think of ways to let him explore cooking without it driving me batty. So yesterday at the grocery store, he got to choose some ingredients that will be just his. He chose rice, black turtle beans (chosen for the name, I think), and mini marshmallows. Other than not being allowed to roast the mini marshmallows on tiny sticks, he had free rein.* He dumped and mixed, and seemed to be having a good time. And then he asked for more ingredients.

So now our sink has a rice/beans/marshmallow/warm water concoction in it (he didn't want the moldy bread I offered). And while he had a sense of ownership, it was not as much fun as really getting to explore in the kitchen, even with a bunch of "no"s along the way.

*While I was typing, I realized I didn't know if the expression was "free reign" as I first typed it, or "free rein." It does refer to horses, not kings and queens. See bottom of this page.

Shouting

2008-10-24T12:53:00.001-07:00

Yesterday afternoon, during the witching hour--that hour right before dinner when the kids go crazy--I totally lost my cool. My son was pestering me to pick up a pen cap off the floor for him while I was stirring meatballs into hot spaghetti sauce and my daughter was hanging on my leg whining. I turned to him and shouted "Hey!" with what I thought was a withering glare. I caught myself, took a breath, and apologized: "I'm sorry for shouting at you. I shouldn't have done that." I thought, rather proudly, that I was doing such a great job parenting, providing him with an example of contrition without justifying my actions. But he totally missed that point. "Mom," he said. "Shouting is what you do at birthday parties! But you shout 'surprise.'" I had just started a party without even knowing it.

Pirate Rules

2008-10-22T15:07:00.000-07:00

I made the mistake the other day of telling my three-year-old son that pirates don't follow regular people rules, they follow pirate rules. I meant to highlight the idea that pirates aren't just anti-rule; they have their own set of codes that rule them on the high seas. But the nuances were lost on the three year old. Every time he did something he's not allowed to do, he'd say, "Mom. I'm following pirate rules."

These pirate rules included everything he wanted to do but isn't allowed: laying on top of the kitchen table, spraying the laundry hanging in the back yard with water from the hose, poking his sister with the toilet paper holder. Following pirate rules in our house often meant behaving unkindly.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what are the most important things to teach my kids, and where obedience falls into the mix. It's easy to decide that I want them to be able to think for themselves and make wise decisions, that I want them to explore their world, that I want them to be creative, that I want them to know the value of working at something that's hard for them. But much of the time I just want them to do what I say.

I've read many books on the subject of raising kids, and each one touts a different highest value. For one author, it's obedience. For another, it's kindness or humane-ness, and the critical thinking skills necessary to make humane choices. For another, it's responsibility and thinking for themselves. For yet another, it's love of learning and creative problem solving.* And these are all good things. I suppose this is the problem of parenthood. There are so many good things that children are and that they can become, and there's no philosophically and practically perfect system for enabling the good.

My dad's advice is to raise kids you'll like to hang out with as adults, because you'll spend a lot more time with them when they're adults than when they're kids. That seems a good place to start, even as I puzzle over what my parenting priorities are. I'm not a big fan of pirate rules, but I love the sparkle in the eyes of the boy who's inventive enough to try to follow them.

*Books referred to:
--Ted Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart (I do have some strong philosophical disagreements with Tripp)
--Zoe Weil's Above All, Be Kind (it includes some great questionnaires to help parents think through their values and how those values should affect their parenting)
--Foster Cline and Charles Fay, Parenting with Love and Logic (lots of practical application, though I'm still thinking through some of the claims they make)
--Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting (this one really challenged me to think about what values I hold, and he provides lots of psychological studies to establish his argument)

Hamster Wheels

2008-10-15T20:17:00.001-07:00

I really wanted a picture of a hamster in a wheel on a street or sidewalk with cars in the background for my blog image. No luck. I did find photos of hamsters in wheels with no background, of people in very large hamster balls in a big pool, and of a few people-sized hamster wheels in various environs. By far my favorite was this one:

This "Green Wheel" was designed by students from Dalhousie School of Architecture as a "playful protest to the lack of public green space in Halifax" (see whole article here).

So instead of a picture of a hamster, or my head photoshopped onto a hamster body or this guy's body, you get to see a little bit of me and more of my sleeping daughter. I can't really argue for it fitting the theme, but in my book, you really can't do better than a sleeping baby.

Fall in California

2008-10-07T15:55:00.000-07:00

The last week or so I've been lamenting that we ever moved back to California from New England. The primary reason? The fall colors. I've been forgetting about the most miserable week of the year in January where you feel like your pee might freeze inside your body when you go outside. And the gross humidity of summer that made me throw all green-ness to the wind and run three large air conditioners constantly in our 900 sq.ft. condo. But fall.

Our favorite fall event was the Ashfield Fall Festival, held on Columbus Day weekend in a tiny hilltown. The churches all serve food, local performers grace the stage, and kids run a game area with all homemade games. We learned the first year we went that we had to take cash; no one took credit cards, and the closest ATM was 6 miles away. We also learned our first visit that our first stop should always be the old town hall to line up for fried dough with maple cream dripping off it. We'd get our dough, sit on the steps with other families, and get sticky while listening to a bluegrass trio standing off to the side.

On Sunday we found our Fall Festival here, in Los Altos. Instead of taking over the main street and the common, we got the California version of a common--a cordoned off parking lot. There were carnival rides and crafts, a climbing wall, a stage with a mediocre band, a few food stands, and a classic car show. It felt rushed and busy. But maybe I just felt rushed and busy, not able to take a California fall for what it is--a slightly cooler version of summer with scarecrows and pumpkins--and longing for the simplicity and tradition of a small New England town.

How this Blog came to be called "The 'Amstr Wheel"

2008-09-29T21:13:00.000-07:00

The title combines to quirky bits. First, at one time my email name was "amstr@ . . ." and a good friend still calls me by that particular email name. Second, I heard a quiz question on "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" about a hamster outrunning traffic in his little hamster ball somewhere in the UK (see story here: "Speeding Hamster Overtakes Rush-Hour Traffic"). In trying to come up with a blog name, the two seemed to collide.

Many things in my life right now seem kind of hamster-wheely. I'm a stay-at-home mom by day and a grad student in Renaissance Literature by night. Both things require lots of routine, and I don't feel like I'm making much progress when I take account at the end of each day. I'm learning to trust, though, that the lesson of the tortise and the hare is true. I'm deciding that 15 minutes of writing is better than none, and that spending time with my kids now playing hide-and-seek under clean sheets will pay off later. I'm certainly having to be slow and steady and to trust my own pace. With enough time, maybe I'll win the race, or at least pass by all those crazy commuters stuck on the freeway and going nowhere.